music at the intersection of WTF and OMG

----------- THE NEWS -----------

Welcome to the madness that is Captain Chemical! If you are a new fan, get ready for a WTF experience - as Arizona's craziest stupor-rock/junk blues/cowpunk/psycho band, we are a musical celebration of human stupidity. Our insane music is available on most streaming platforms, like Spotify, Pandora, Apple/iTunes, Amazon, Tidal, Deezer, etc. Even scarier, all of Captain Chemical's must-see official music videos are on our official artist channel on YouTube. If it's ridiculous or dumb, we've set it to music!

#1 "Beer Drinkin' Goat" (from the album Decline of Civilization) - #1 MOST STREAMED SONG ALL-TIME
#2 "Rabid Chihuahuas On Dope" (from the not-yet-released album Dumbstruck) ALREADY #2 ALL-TIME, HOTTEST SONG OF 2024
#3 "Barbie's Having A Bad Day" (from the not-yet-released album Dumbstruck) ALREADY #3 ALL-TIME, 2ND HOTTEST SONG OF 2024
#4 "Toad Licking" (from the album Stupid) - #4 ALL-TIME
#5 "Captain's Alien Abduction (from the album Stupid) - #5 ALL-TIME
#6 "Wall-Mart Shopping Experience" (from the album Decline of Civilization) #6 ALL-TIME
#7 "Lawn Chair Larry" (from the album Decline of Civilization) - #7 ALL-TIME
#8 "Christmas in Hell" (from the album Ain't Dead Yet) - #8 ALL-TIME, POPULAR DURING THE HOLIDAYS
#9 "Rat Trap in the Glory Hole" (from the album Ain't Dead Yet) - #9 ALL-TIME, MOST WTF SONG EVER

#1 "Toad Licking" (from the album Stupid) - MOST WATCHED VIDEO ALL-TIME (ALL PLATFORMS)
#2 "Wall-Mart Shopping Experience" (from the album Decline of Civilization) - #2 MOST WATCHED VIDEO ALL-TIME
#3 "Beer Drinkin' Goat" (from the album Decline of Civilization) #3 MOST WATCHED VIDEO ALL-TIME, #1 IN 2023
#4 "Lawn Chair Larry" (from the album Decline of Civilization) - #2 VIDEO OF 2023
#5 "Rabid Chihuahuas On Dope" (from the album Dumbstruck) HOTTEST VIDEO OF 2024

The Captain Chemical Band has finished recording their next album DUMBSTRUCK, which will be released in June. Three singles have already been released ahead of the album. These are "Dude Needs A Job" (which made its debut on the Indie Music Hunt on 24 November 2023, winning a Golden Funkbeard Award), "Rabid Chihuahuas On Dope" (18 January 2024) and "Barbie's Having A Bad Day" (29 February 2024). A video for "Rabid Chihuahuas" is now available, and a video for "Influencer" will be coming soon! Get your giggle pants on!

Surprise release 24 May 2024! Two of the silliest indie bands on the planet have collaborated on a new track. Captain Chemical and Group Hug Sounds reach new lows of immaturity on a track called "Long Loo Line." This delightfully immature romp is certain to be the best song about diarrhea you will ever hear. Streams everywhere starting 24 May, and available on bandcamp via Only The Label.

Surprise release 21 February 2024! Captain Chemical recorded a studio version of the Primus hit "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver" as part of the Tribute To Musical Madness project on Only The Label. The band's goal was to "sound more Primus than Primus," so you can imagine the madness. This track can be streamed everywhere but it isn't available for download or on CD; it can exclusively be download from Only The Label.

Our original drummer Dougie Dealer remains in medical care, recovering from heart problems and a cerebral hemmorhage. He will not be able to return as the drummer for the Captain Chemical Band. Dougie Dealer was major source of inspiration throughout the band's 40-year history, and he will be greatly missed. However, Captain Chemical fans need not fear because the band continues on with a new drummer: Medicine Man. He brings voodoo, mojo, and juju to the band. After DUMBSTRUCK is completed (target date is May 2024), the band plans to perform live in 2024. Planning for the Dumbstruck Tour is only in its early stages now. So... check back here for further information and updates.

----------- THE REVIEWS -----------

"What the fuck? Are you kidding?" -Johnny     Do you think we're serious?
"Lyrical genius... These lyrics really speak to me." -Brian     Uh oh.
"Damn, that's awesome. Like Captain Beefheart met Weird Al and joined Deep Purple. Love this!" -TruckDog (fellow OTL artist and playlist curator)     Woot!
    Check out TruckDog's Spotify playlist here.
"It's out of control good!" -J. Pablo Torres (runs the "In The Trenches" livestream)     It is definitely out of control, at least.
"This is like Beavis and Butthead meet Cheech and Chong in Wayne's World." -Cynthia seen on the Dr. Phil Show.
"Sounds like the Dead Milkmen covering the Doors." -Alt77 (Swedish music blogger)     We take that as a HUGE compliment
"This is the kind of shit I always wanted to hear, but no one else had the balls to record it." -Edward     Thank you!
"Rat Trap in the Glory Hole... Y'all are craZy ridiculous. Bahahahaha LMFAO!!!" -Boz     That's the spirit!
"How old are you guys, 14, 12?" -Diane     You're as old as you feel. So yeah, about 14.
"It's not boring!" -L2     True... "ridiculous" and "stupid" perhaps, but never "boring."
"You guys are underrated! This is the best new/old band on the internet." -The Lawn Officer     Tell all your friends about us!
"I want this band to be my life's background music for everything I do." -The Single Digits     What a deranged life that would be!
"I say if somebody doesn't like this, there's probably something wrong with them." -Prime Birds (fellow OTL artist)     We're in no position to judge.
"You guys do whacky songs!" -Gamer     It's our secret superpower. We just can't do 'normal' songs.
"It's like Mudhoney, if they were from the desert instead of Seattle." -Magentic Mushroom     And they still let us run loose.
"The world is whack, and Captain Chemical is here to document it." -Mark Jewett (noted Zevonologist)     Snarky observations on human stupidity is our formula!.

Want your own thoughts on the band displayed here? Just leave a witty comment on YouTube, tag us on Twitter/X (@CaptChemical), or comment on FB or IG.

----------- THE LINKS -----------

Join the Captain's Navy and sink into the cesspool of stupidity by subscribing to our YouTube channel, liking us on Facebook, following us on Instragram and Twitter, and listening to us everywhere!

... for the music:
YouTube: Captain Chemical official artist channel (all official song videos, all music)
Spotify: Captain Chemical artist page (all music)
Pandora: Captain Chemical artist page (all music)
Apple Music: Captain Chemical artist page (all music)
The Captain's music is also available to stream on Tidal, Deezer, iTunes, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, BOOM, Boomplay Music, Yandex, Napster, Tencent, Snapchat/Triller/7digital, Gaana, Joox, TIM, Wynk/Hungama, NetEase, Zed+, Peloton, Douyin, MediaNet, TouchTunes/PlayNetwork, VerveLife, Gracenote, YouSee Musik/Telmore Musik, KKBox, Music Island, Anghami, ClaroMusica, Zvooq, JioSaavn, Q.Sic, Kuack, Ayoba, and more

... for the fun:
Facebook: Captain Chemical Band page (pictures, some videos, band news)
Instagram: captainchemicalband (pictures, some videos, some band news)
X (a.k.a. Twitter): CaptChemical (band news, links to other stuff)
band web site: the web page you're already on (band history, music list)
Label 1: Brain Damage Records (CDs can be purchased)
Label 2: Only The Label (music on Bandcamp, merch available)

We're not particularly photogenic, but here are some pictures.

----------- THE MUSIC -----------

THE DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION (full CD and digital release: 06 January 2023)
1. Welcome to the Apocalypse (Stadium Party Mix)
2. Wall-Mart Shopping Experience
3. Beer Goggles On
4. Lawn Chair Larry
5. Beer-Drinkin' Goat
6. Zamboni Joyride
7. Weasel Poop Coffee
8. Police Arrest the Cops
9. Bottles of the Apocalypse

NOTE: Tracks 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 9 were digitally released
as singles between August 2022 and December 2022.

Captain Chemical's 2023 album release is titled THE DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION, a title that pretty much sums up what this album is about. It seems that people are pretty much doomed to suffer from their own stupidity, so on this album the Captain provides the soundtrack for humanity's demise. The songs - all examples of human folly - are based on actual events, with Captain Chemical providing full color commentary as only the Captain can. So sit back and enjoy listening to stupidity set to music, from the absurdity seen with shoppers at retail stores, a do-it-yourself balloonist who flew over three miles high in a lawn chair, alcoholic goats that got elected to public office until finally getting castrated, to separate undercover police sting operations that ended up arresting each other. THE DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION explores some of the most outlandish exploits of people behaving at the fringes of sanity. Don't expect any uplifting stories full of great social insight here; this album is just a musical celebration of some of the most WTF and OMG stupid things that people have ever done. For music streaming purposes, the Captain Chemical released most of this material as a series of singles in the fall of 2022. The full album became available for streaming, download, or CD purchase in 2023. To see as well hear this madness, be sure to check out the supporting song videos on the Captain Chemical YouTube channel. CD price is $10, plus shipping. Available digitally on most music platforms.

STUPID (CD and digital release: 20 October 2021)
1. Captain's Alien Abduction
2. One Legged Stripper
3. Stupider
4. Gator In Her Pants
5. Toad Licking
6. Butt Chugging
7. Peeping Drone
8. When Your Tits Explode
9. We Do Dumb Things
10. Noche de la Chupacabra
11. Stupid
12. Captain's Alien Seduction

Captain Chemical 2.0 didn't just sit on its collective ass enjoying the fame and fortune brought by the international success of their AIN'T DEAD YET album. Hell no! The Captain Chemical Band began recording their second album almost immediately after completing their first, and they came up with a disk full of outrageous entertainment. The album is titled STUPID, which accurately sums up the lyrical themes explored here. Playing in a wide variety of musical styles, the band travels all around the world - even extra-terrestrially - to find stories of real or imagined human stupidity. As usual, this mostly involves people under the influence of sex and drugs, but any topic with that special WTF quality is fair game for the Captain. As the Captain sings, "we do dumb things," and you'll get to hear all about those dumb things in a wider variety of musical styles than just blues on this album. From hiding alligators in your pants, to licking psychedelic toads, to encounters with space aliens, get ready to get STUPID. CD price $10 plus shipping. Available digitally on most music platforms.

AIN'T DEAD YET (CD release 30 April 2021, digital release 17 May 2021)
1. Party In My Pants
2. Eating Tide Pods
3. Story Time
4. Rat Trap In The Glory Hole
5. Don't Fear The Reefer
6. Christmas In Hell
7. Ain't Dead Yet
8. Soccer Mom Action
9. Toilet Full Of Blues
10. Robbing The Cradle
11. Power To The Peephole
12. Captain's Last Gig
13. Too Ugly For Jail

Just when you thought it was safe to listen to music again... out came a new Captain Chemical release. And this one's a real masterpiece. If you thought that time would mellow out the Captain, think again. As usual, no topic is off limits. On AIN'T DEAD YET, the Captain explores life as a dirty old man, from robbing the cradle to powering up the peephole, while the drug abuse extends to ridiculous new thrills such as eating Tide Pods, served up with a heaping helping of Viagra. Fans of the original Captain Chemical 1.0 will be thrilled to find that it's all still here: kinky sex, crazy drugs, insane rock and roll, presented in that inimitable musical style called "junk blues," with a few new twists. The songs are as catchy as ever, while the lyrics remain refreshingly over-the-top and politically incorrect. And guess what? On this album, the movie "Reefer Madness" actually does get set to music. Old farts will love the classic rock feel of many tracks, while Generation Tide Pod will be amazed that these geezers are actually very much in touch with all the latest stupidity of the 21st century. If seeing a song titled "Rat Trap In The Glory Hole" makes you think that you'd like to hear this album, then you really need to hear this album. But don't say you weren't warned. This album is hardcore, and totally not suitable for children... or even adults who lack a warped sense of humor. CD $10 plus shipping. Available digitally on most music platforms.

1. Brain Damage
2. Dead Chicks Can't Say No
3. Overdose
4. Sniffin' Glue
5. Drug Abuse Is Fun
6. Mr. Horse
7. Helen Keller
8. Give A Drug A Home
9. Let's Masturbate
10. I'm A Addict
11. A Prayer
12. Cripple
13. Dr. Quaalude
14. Karen Ann Quinlan For President
15. Blue Baby
16. Hitler Was A Vegetarian
17. TV Sucks
18. Obliteration
19. Catholic
20. Vegetation Blues
21. Chromosome Blues
22. Bad Local Band

During the heyday of the self-indulgent sex and drugs counter-culture of the late 70s and early 80s, Captain Chemical 1.0 provided a soundtrack for this hedonistic era. On eight albums released between 1978 and 1983, the Captain and his bands celebrated drug abuse, sexual excess, and all manner of ridiculous behavior in a musical style called "junk blues." Inspired in part by the on-stage excesses of the late Root Boy Slim, Captain Chemical delivered a series of catchy, mostly up-tempo songs with over-the-top lyrics that would have you humming along and shaking your head at the same time. It was like setting the movie "Reefer Madness" to music. Absolutely nothing was off limits - girls in comas, handicapped people, overdoses, religion, Hitler, brain damage - all of it was fair game for the Captain. The word most commonly used to describe Captain Chemical was sick. In 2007 the Captain Chemical Band 1.0 reunited for the first time in 24 years to record crisp, clean, new studio versions of 22 songs from the Captain's early career. FUCKED UP is the definitive record of the shocking brilliance that was Captain Chemical 1.0 - high quality digital recordings featuring the catchiest tunes and sickest, most politically-incorrect, drug-inspired lyrics ever assembled. Warning: This CD is hardcore, and not suitable for children. It's also not available for digital streaming. CD $15 plus shipping

----------- THE STORY -----------

Captain Chemical 1.0

+reunion in 2007

The Captain first came to life in 1978 as the creation of a young musician who wanted a different name and persona to separate his experimental, psychedelic music from his more "serious" efforts. The earliest Captain Chemical tracks were crudely recorded and focused on musical weirdness with only a hint of comedy. However, listeners appreciated the humor more than the weirdness, so Captain Chemical steadily morphed into a comedy act, simplifying the music mostly around blues structures while making the lyrical content ever more extreme and ridiculous. This was a winning formula, especially in a live performance setting. The late 1970s and early 1980s were the heyday of the self-indulgent sex and drugs counter-culture, and the Captain's drug-crazed, sex-crazed insanity proved a perfect soundtrack for the time. Captain Chemical was a musical celebration of drug abuse, sexual excess, and all manner of ridiculous behavior, set to an infectious style of music the band called "junk blues." It was just silly, sick, juvenile fun. Based out of Washington DC, the Captain played and recorded with a wide variety of musicians from 1980 to 1983, releasing eight albums in total, several of them recorded live. Despite frequent changes in band personnel and the fact that this material was utterly inappropriate for commercial radio, the Captain steadily built an underground fan base. In late 1983, Captain Chemical recorded what was supposed to be the band's swan song, an album titled LIVE FROM CLEVELAND (not that the album was recorded there) containing most of the fans' favorite songs. Then, the Captain hung up his microphone and decided to be a mature adult. (Or at least he pretended for a while.) Years passed, but... that crazy infectious Captain Chemical music simply would not die. The songs were too catchy, the lyrics too absurdly fun to ignore. In 2007, the Captain Chemical Band briefly re-formed to record the album FUCKED UP: THE SICKEST OF CAPTAIN CHEMICAL, which consisted of high quality studio recordings of the most infamous "hits" from the entire Captain Chemical 1.0 era. Sadly, all other albums by Captain Chemical 1.0 are out of print, but FUCKED UP remains available on CD from Brain Damage Records. FUCKED UP was supposed to memorialize Captain Chemical once and forever, but the Captain would not die.

Captain Chemical 2.0

2020 - eternity

Neither the band nor its fans could keep their inner 14 year old suppressed forever. In 2020 a new version of the Captain Chemical Band was formed in Arizona. Dougie Dealer and the Captain himself returned from version 1.0 version of the band, joined by new guitarist Hozzy Hashbourne. This trio gave Captain Chemical 2.0 a new, somewhat more professional, yet still familiar and accessible sound. In 2020 and 2021, they recorded an album of completely new material appropriately titled AIN'T DEAD YET. The music was still blues-y, but the band also branched out in several directions, labeling their new style "stupor rock." And the lyrics? Well, people are doing stuff in the 2020s that's just as stupid as the shit they did in 1981, so the Captain had plenty to sing about. However, this version of the band also created song videos, set up Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X pages, and a web site. More importantly, the band distributed all its material via digital releases to reach a larger, global fan base. This was significant, because historically Captain Chemical never intended its extreme material for a mainstream audience, and the band has never expected its songs to get airplay on commercial radio. But digital distribution opened up a new fan base, allowing people from anywhere in the world who appreciate great music combined with lyrical absurdity to enjoy the Captain's unique brand of inanity. After all, doesn't the whole world need to hear the stupid brilliance of Captain Chemical? Well no, actually. (Here comes the disclaimer.) If you're sensitive to idiotic and sometimes criminal lyrical concepts peppered with obscenities while set to music and/or you are so cerebrally-challenged as to take any of this silliness seriously, then you should NOT listen to this band. Captain Chemical is just low comedy, not an instruction manual for life. On the other hand, if you aren't uptight and just want a good laugh to go with some toe-tapping music, then check your sensibilities at the front door and stream or download Captain Chemical's songs. On STUPID the Captain tells a bunch of ridiculous stories set to great music, while on THE DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION explores just how absurd humans really are, with songs all based on actual events! Truth is often stranger than fiction and some people are seriously messed up. So there's no shortage of material, and the music is wonderful, old school rock (or punk, psychedelic, techno, metal, jazz, cowpunk, psychobilly, whatever). While you're laughing, be sure to check out the band's videos on YouTube.