the band, the myth, the legend
Captain Chemical 1.0
The Captain first came to life in 1978, brain child of a young musician who wanted a different name and persona to separate his experimental, drug-inflected music from his more "serious" efforts. The earliest Captain Chemical tracks were crudely recorded and focused on musical weirdness with only a hint of comedy. However, listeners appreciated the humor more than the weirdness, so Captain Chemical steadily morphed into a comedy act, simplifying the music mostly around blues structures while making the lyrical content ever more extreme and ridiculous. This was a winning formula, especially in a live performance setting. The late 1970s and early 1980s were the heyday of the self-indulgent sex and drugs counter-culture, and the Captain's drug-crazed, sex-crazed insanity proved a perfect soundtrack for the time. Captain Chemical was a musical celebration of drug abuse, sexual excess, and all manner of ridiculous behavior, set to an infectious style of music the band called "junk blues." It was all silly, sick, juvenile fun. Based out of Washington DC, the Captain played and recorded with a wide variety of musicians from 1980 to 1983, releasing eight albums in total, several of them recorded live. Despite frequent changes in band personnel and the fact that this material was utterly inappropriate for commercial radio, the Captain steadily built an underground fan base. In late 1983, Captain Chemical recorded what was supposed to be the band's swan song, an album titled LIVE FROM CLEVELAND (not that the album was recorded there) containing most of the fans' favorite songs. Then, the Captain hung up his microphone and decided to be a mature adult. (At least he pretended for a while.) Years passed, but... that ludicrous Captain Chemical music simply would not die. The songs were too catchy, the lyrics too absurdly fun to ignore. In 2007, the Captain Chemical Band briefly re-formed to record the album FUCKED UP: THE SICKEST OF CAPTAIN CHEMICAL, which consisted of high quality studio recordings of the most infamous "hits" from the entire Captain Chemical 1.0 era. Sadly, all other albums by Captain Chemical 1.0 are out of print, but FUCKED UP remains available on CD from Brain Damage Records. FUCKED UP was supposed to memorialize Captain Chemical once and forever, but the Captain would not die.
Captain Chemical 2.0
Neither the band nor its fans could keep their inner 14 year old suppressed forever. In 2020 a new version of the Captain Chemical Band was formed in Arizona. Dougie Dealer and the Captain himself returned from version 1.0 version of the band, joined by new guitarist Hozzy Hashbourne. This trio gave Captain Chemical 2.0 a new, somewhat more professional, yet still familiar and accessible sound. In 2020 and 2021, they recorded an album of completely new material appropriately titled AIN'T DEAD YET. And the lyrics? Well, people are doing stuff in 2021 that's just as stupid as the shit they did in 1981, so the Captain has plenty to sing about. However, this version of the band also shot song videos, created Facebook and Instagram pages, and set up a web site. More importantly, the band gave AIN'T DEAD YET a full digital release to reach a larger, global fan base. This is significant, because historically Captain Chemical never intended its extreme material for a mainstream audience, and the band has never expected its songs to get airplay on commercial radio. But digital distribution opens up a new fan base, potentially allowing people from anywhere in the world who appreciate great music combined with lyrical absurdity to enjoy the Captain's unique brand of inanity. After all, doesn't the whole world need to hear the stupid brilliance of Captain Chemical? Well no, actually. (Here comes the disclaimer.) If you're sensitive to idiotic and sometimes criminal lyrical concepts peppered with obscenities while set to music and/or you are so cerebrally-challenged as to take any of this silliness seriously, then you should NOT listen to this band. Captain Chemical is just low comedy, not an instruction manual for life. On the other hand, if you aren't uptight and just want a good laugh to go with some toe-tapping music, then check your sensibilities at the front door and download AIN'T DEAD YET. There's more coming too - the Captain has almost finished recording their next album, appropriately titled STUPID. The band expects to release STUPID in September 2021, and you can rest assured that this album will fully live up to its title in the finest Captain Chemical tradition.
FUCKED UP: THE SICKEST OF CAPTAIN CHEMICAL (released August 2007)
1. Brain Damage
2. Dead Chicks Can't Say No
4. Sniffin' Glue
5. Drug Abuse Is Fun
6. Mr. Horse
7. Helen Keller
8. Give A Drug A Home
9. Let's Masturbate
10. I'm A Addict
11. A Prayer
13. Dr. Quaalude
14. Karen Ann Quinlan For President
15. Blue Baby
16. Hitler Was A Vegetarian
17. TV Sucks
20. Vegetation Blues
21. Chromosome Blues
22. Bad Local Band
During the heyday of the self-indulgent sex and drugs counter-culture of the late 70s and early 80s, Captain Chemical 1.0 provided a soundtrack for this hedonistic era. On eight albums released between 1978 and 1983, the Captain and his bands celebrated drug abuse, sexual excess, and all manner of ridiculous behavior in a musical style called "junk blues." Inspired in part by the on-stage excesses of the late Root Boy Slim, Captain Chemical delivered a series of catchy, mostly up-tempo songs with over-the-top lyrics that would have you humming along and shaking your head at the same time. It was like setting the movie "Reefer Madness" to music. Absolutely nothing was off limits - girls in comas, handicapped people, overdoses, religion, Hitler, brain damage - all of it was fair game for the Captain. The word most commonly used to describe Captain Chemical was sick. In 2007 the Captain Chemical Band reunited for the first time in 24 years to record crisp, clean, new studio versions of 22 songs from every stage of the Captain's career. FUCKED UP is the definitive album of the shocking brilliance that was Captain Chemical 1.0 - high quality digital recordings featuring the catchiest tunes and sickest, most politically-incorrect, drug-inspired lyrics ever assembled. Warning: This CD is hardcore, and not suitable for children. CD $15 plus shipping, not available digitally
AIN'T DEAD YET (CD release April 2021, digital release May 2021)
1. Party In My Pants
2. Eating Tide Pods
3. Story Time
4. Rat Trap In The Glory Hole
5. Don't Fear The Reefer
6. Christmas In Hell
7. Ain't Dead Yet
8. Soccer Mom Action
9. Toilet Full Of Blues
10. Robbing The Cradle
11. Power To The Peephole
12. Captain's Last Gig
13. Too Ugly For Jail
Just when you thought it was safe to listen to music again... here comes an ALL-NEW Captain Chemical release. And this one's a real masterpiece. If you thought that time would mellow out the Captain, think again. As usual, no topic is off limits. On AIN'T DEAD YET, the Captain explores life as a dirty old man, from robbing the cradle to powering up the peephole, while the drug abuse extends to ridiculous new thrills such as eating Tide Pods, served up with a heaping helping of Viagra. Fans of the original Captain Chemical 1.0 will be thrilled to find that it's all still here: kinky sex, crazy drugs, insane rock and roll, presented in that inimitable musical style called "junk blues," with a few new twists. The songs are as catchy as ever, while the lyrics remain refreshingly over-the-top and politically incorrect. And guess what? On this album, the movie "Reefer Madness" actually does get set to music. Old farts will love the classic rock feel of many tracks, while Generation Tide Pod will be amazed that these geezers are actually very much in touch with all the latest stupidity of the 21st century. If seeing a song titled "Rat Trap In The Glory Hole" makes you think that you'd like to hear this album, then you really need to hear this album. But don't say you weren't warned. This album is hardcore, and totally not suitable for children... or even adults who lack a warped sense of humor. CD $10 plus shipping. Available digitally on most music platforms
STUPID (expected CD and digital release: September 2021)
1. Captain's Alien Abduction
2. One Legged Stripper
4. Gator In Her Pants
5. Toad Licking
6. Butt Chugging
7. Peeping Drone
8. When Your Tits Explode
9. We Do Dumb Things
10. Noche de la Chupacabra
track list and song order has not been finalized
Captain Chemical 2.0 isn't just sitting on its collective ass and enjoying the fame and fortune brought by the success of their AIN'T DEAD YET album. Hell no! The Captain Chemical Band began recording their second album almost immediately after completing their first, and this next one is chock full of outrageous entertainment. The album is titled STUPID, which accurately sums up the lyrical themes explored here. Playing in a wide variety of musical styles, the band travels all around the world - even extra-terrestially - to find stories of real or imagined human stupidity. As usual, this mostly involves sex and drugs, but of course any topic with that special WTF quality is fair game for the Captain. From alligators hidden in your pants to licking psychedelic toads to alien abduction, get ready to get STUPID. CD price not set, expected to be available digitally on most music platforms
Join the Captain's Navy and sink into the cesspool of stupidity by liking us on Facebook and following us on Instragram!
Facebook: Captain Chemical Band this link might work (has pictures, short video samples, and band news)
Instagram: captainchemicalband (has pictures, full song videos, and some band news)
web site: the web page you're already on (band history, music list)
Label: Brain Damage Records (CDs can be purchased)
"What the fuck? Are you kidding?" -Johnny     Do you think we're serious?
"Lyrical genius... These lyrics really speak to me." -Brian     Uh oh.
"This is like Beavis and Butthead meet Cheech and Chong in Wayne's World." -Cynthia     ...as seen on the Dr. Phil Show.
"Rat Trap in the Glory Hole... Y'all are craZy ridiculous. Bahahahaha LMFAO!!!" -Boz     That's the spirit!
"How old are you guys, 14, 12?" -Diane     You're as old as you feel.
"This is the kind of shit I always wanted to hear, but no one else had the balls to record it." -Edward     Thank you!